Friday, April 27, 2007
Two days ago was Administrative Professional's Day and ofcourse we got some lovin' from our bosses and our store managers. They gave us flowers and chocolates. I put them all in one of my desk and when I took a glance, it looked like a freakin' shrine for the dead with their offerings. Cool weird.
I love it when I have flowers in my office, it adds color to the dull space.
Spell casted @ 2:10 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
I feel like I'm a prisoner.
I may have been born to be one of those meant to please people and could never please their own selves.
I wish I am Miss Perfect but I'm just not. I'm just plain dumb and stupid. Stupid enough to screw my own life and ruin my own future. I screwed up. I wasn't patient enough and I am paying for the price and I don't think it's fair. It's not.
I never had the feeling that whatever it is I'm doing, it's just pure fun or relaxation. There's always someone who won't like my absence because I have to cater to the other person's needs. Emotional and physical presence and whatever it is that I have to offer. It's never about me. It's always about me making someone else happy.
I don't own my self. I don't own my life. I can't even pretend that I own me.
Spell casted @ 8:33 PM
What makes me want to work and move in the morning? I used to think that it's the coffee or the walk after my breakfast, but I just realized that it's really my Angel!!!! My day just light up when I see him...
Spell casted @ 8:45 AM
Thursday, April 05, 2007
We cross other people's paths everyday and some of them we may never see again and we just move on, it's normal. But what's sad about it sometimes is that one time that we connect with them and we don't know how badly they need our help. The next thing you know is that they're gone - literally.
I encountered this previously and I don't think life wasn't being fair to this person. I hardly know him. We only talked once, although he doesn't sound young as he is, he seemed like a nice person. He was just calling for my boss regarding his billing and insurance problems regarding his diabetes medications. When my boss was going to call him, he was told that he passed away. Not from his diabetes, but suicide. Looking at the time frame, he picked up 60 pills of Vicodin about a day or two after we had a conversation and took all of them. I questioned my self if it's our fault but according to the patients medical background, he already has psychological problems. As my boss said, it couldn't be entirely our fault but we probably played a part of it. Maybe it's just one problem piled after another until he just couldn't take it anymore. I feel really sad because at one point in his lifetime we had that conncetion. It could have been significant but it's all too late now.
Spell casted @ 4:34 PM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Lately, I've been having weird dreams. But I think that's how dreams are really supposed to be. 2 nights ago, I dreamed that we were in my bedroom in the Philippines and my brother and I were trying to hide Angel from my mom. So when she knocked on the door, we pretended to be cool but Angel was so stubborn that he had to peek if my mom was still there. So my mom found out and forbid me to see him and I woke up crying.
I told Angel the day after and he said he wouldn't let something like that stop him from seeing me. And that if it did, she would steal me from my family... like a knight in shining armor.... =)
Last night, I dreamed that we were in some house and there was a storm and my boss from 7-11 asked me to close the windows and as a result, I died. I didn't feel like I was dead because even as a ghost, everyone can still see and communicate with me. But after a year at Angel's apartment, the nanny, her daughter and my son was there and he was the only one who can see me. I tried getting their attention and that's when I realized that I'm really dead and I cried out of frustration so I got a pen and wrote at the fridge, "Pagod na ako," which means I'm tired (of getting their attention) and that's when they could see me again.
Spell casted @ 9:15 AM
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
I have a garbage can mystery that I really want to solve.... Every morning, my garbage is empty BUT there's always like 2 or 3 pieces of chewed gum. Yes I chew my own gum and spit it there but I also toss coffee and water in there so the garbage bag would be wet and smelly if the cleaning guy doesn't change the liner, but it's not. No one could be at my desk because my staff are not based here in the main office so they're never here. Could it be that the cleaning guy just doesn't like me so he spits his own gum as a little revenge? Whatever the reason may be, it's gross.
Spell casted @ 11:14 AM